Reap what you sow

They rejected me no matter that I helped them or would listen to their pain.
Soon rejection was not enough, and torment became your game.
To fight against Derision, became a struggle day by day,
Finally I accepted your opinion; it didn't hurt if it were true.
But there were cracks in the beetle shells around me and I saw flickers of remorse
So even you did not believe what you said to build your fragile defenses higher.
If your greatness was so great, then why did you need defenses ?
I saw again that I had worth, or why bother tear at Me.
I saw how little you really had that I did not, and how much more I could gain. If I could break the habit of longing to belong.
Belong to what, a gaggle of petty egos, of snipers of the soul, a heartless flock of harpies who hated themselves, even without even being tormented about them.
I did not want what they kept from me, I did not want them at all, So I rejected them.
Before Black makeup and trench coats, and chains and collars were found in boutiques,
I created my own, they backed away, and only muttered behind their hands,
I said nothing to them my feral gaze was enough, I let my timidity fade, I was entitled to my rage.
I gained respect from the strangest places, never chosen for A team I became a fright in soccer.
A Berserk attack on a male tormenter earned me the respect of teachers and, of all things, Football players.
I and while I am still in pain, from a disease of the mind, I believe they suffer too, for what they played at all their lives, blocked the way to joy, and they know not who they are.